Seriously, there’s nothing that I hate more than false advertisement. It is SO not appropriate. Just tell the truth or better yet, don’t say anything at all! Let me find out on my own that your service is pretty shotty and I’ll take it up with your customer service reps who really can’t do anything to help me except tell me to do a “master reset” of my cell phone and then give me a credit probably because they are sick of hearing my voice.

I already have my issues with AT&T. Like the fact that I canceled my text messaging and then had to call back probably twice because not only was I still getting text messages, but I was getting charged per message for them. HELLO?! Asswipes, do you not know what cancel means?

I’m sure that you all know by now that my husband and I in our delusional state decided to drive 1,727 miles from our home in Desertland to Omaha, Nebraska to visit Hubby’s family. Me, Hubby, 11 month old and 65 pound lap dog. Add a winter blizzard to the mix and it was probably the best time of my life. (I hope that you can sense the sarcasm)

Besides the fact that our shitty ass 300 + dollar Garmin got us lost a few times along the way (Recalculating…), my iPhone would often display things like: “Searching…”

Or if I was lucky to have bars I wouldn’t have the internet. Not the 3G symbol, not an ‘E’ (which is AT&T speak for regular internet), not even an ’0′ (which is AT&T speak for- “you ain’t got no internet.”) I would just see:

Now when you are driving seventeen hundred miles in a car with a dog and a baby who doesn’t even like to be still when she is not constrained in a car safety device, you need the internet for your sanity. I mean, if I watched the Elmo’s World or So Smart! DVD with C one more time…. I think my education level has reverted to pre-school. It is an absolute tragedy and an abomination to not be able to have “the better 3G experience.” Especially when I pay damn near $200 a month for it. (**Note: When I say I pay I really mean I click ‘Submit’ on the AT&T online web pay page and the money comes out of my hard-working husband’s paycheck**)

Am I experiencing the better 3G when I see things like this:

NO SERVICE?! Are you fucking kidding me? And AT&T wonders why Verizon makes fun of their maps in the commercials. They put Luke Wilson’s ass in a few commercials throwing around postcards naming all of the cities that they have “service” in and they think that is supposed to convince me? Sorry, I have hardcore proof. And because it was so frequent, not only did I take screenshots, but I started writing down names of cities that we drove through where I lost “the better 3G” or my service entirely. Cities like:

Flagstaff, Arizona
Williams, Arizona
Edwards, California

and I could go on, but really- is it necessary? This shit is just ridiculous to be honest.

I think AT&T sucked so many of us in because they got the iPhone. They know it and we know it. We went to pick up my mother from the LAX airport and I couldn’t get signal in there to save my life. I was standing next to an older gentleman who also didn’t have service. He looked at me and said “AT&T?” Yep, I said. “They suck” is all he said. Check out this interesting article on the AT&T vs Verizon battle.

Did you know that AT&T tried to sue Verizon for their map commercials? What was Verizon’s response to the lawsuit?

“AT&T did not file this lawsuit because Verizon’s ‘There’s A Map For That’ advertisements are untrue; AT&T sued because Verizon’s ads are true and the truth hurts.”

Hmmm and on that note:

Dear AT&T, you are LIARS. That’s all. I don’t care if you let me “speak on my phone and search the web at the same time.” La-di-da, I can’t do that if I CAN’T GET ON THE WEB GENIUSES! So, sad to say- Verizon is right: the maps speak for themselves.

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