Not the 80′s baby that grew up listening to Def Leppard and White Snake.
The 80′s baby that grew up listening to Sanchez, Beres Hammond, Buju Banton and Garnett Silk.
Not names you recognize? If you are West Indian or more specifically, Jamaican- these names may jump out at you right away. Classic, “old school” Reggae artists.
So that’s the Jamaican side of me. The other side of me is a Brooklyn, born and bred Bed-Stuy girl.
So quick…
Name some of your favorite hip-hop artists:
- Biggie
- Jay-Z
- Kanye (I’m sad to admit this)
- T.I. (You sexy beast)
- Tupac
How can you not turn up the music when you hear lyrics like this:
“Now honeys play me close like butta play toast
From the Mississippi down to the East Coast
Condos in Queens, indo for weeks
Sold out seats to hear Biggie Smalls speak
Livin’ life without fear
Puttin’ 5 karats in my baby girl’s ears
Lunches, brunches, interviews by the pool
Considered a fool ’cause I dropped out of high school
Stereotypes of a black male misunderstood
And it’s still all good”
–or how ’bout this–
“Man I promise, I’m so self conscious
That’s why you always see me with at least one of my watches
Rollies and Pasha’s done drove me crazy
I can’t even pronounce nothing, pass that versace!
Then I spent 400 bucks on this
Just to be like nigga you ain’t up on this!
And I can’t even go to the grocery store
Without some ones thats clean and a shirt with a team
It seems we living the american dream
But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us
We trying to buy back our 40 acres
And for that paper, look how low we a’stoop
Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coop/coupe”
–one more–
“Mic check 1-2 1-2, you wanna beef wit the king what is you gon do
Will you show up on the scene wit 2 guns drew
Or you and ya friend and play a little two on two
If you knew half of what I knew then you’ll be hittin the deck
Got a tool and a vest I can get some respect
I’ma make it hard for a sucka nigga to flex
Sho ‘em this ain’t the squad for a nigga to test
Pimp my nutz too large and we way too fresh
Work well wit Nines AK’s and Techs
And quick to check a lame like a game of chess
You want beef you can bring ya best and we’ll be standin in ya front yard yellin…”
(Can you name those songs?*)
Okay, so the third set of lyrics are a bit much, but it’s really the beat that pulls you in as opposed to the lyrics. The lyrics are just an added bonus.
The other day, I turned some Biggie on my iPod before I jumped in the shower. I can’t remember what song it was, but every other word was nigga this and nigga that and I thought- wow this is some potty mouth shit. Do I want my baby girl using the ‘N’ word?
It seems like an easy question, right? Wrong.
In college, we had this debate about whether or not we, 80′s babies, now twenty-somethings, should even be using the ‘N’ word.
I remember once when I was in high school in the kitchen with my mother and my older brother and his friends and the ‘N’ word was said and my mom’s all like “you don’t use that word in this house, I’m not one of your friends on the street.” (That was my mother’s favorite thing to say if we said something in the house that she didn’t approve of)
I don’t use the word now unless I’m singing along with a song that I love, but to be honest with you I don’t have any black friends my age here, so I don’t know if I would use the word at all. One of my closest friends, Tyronne- New Orleans native extraordinaire, almost always gets called a nigga when I speak to him… almost. Somewhere between me lecturing him about his inability to find a good woman and settle down and stop “fucking everything that walks” (my words exactly) I might drop an ‘n’ bomb on him.
I don’t know why. I just do. And he usually ends up saying “Aww why I gotta be all that?” and we laugh and carry-on with our conversation.
So, back to my original question- will it be okay for Baby C to use the word? I know a lot of black people like to say we’ve “taken back the word” and it doesn’t have the same implications that it had before, but really? I guess it depends on the context in which it is used. Cause if a white person calls me a nigga- there may be some very distinct four letter words exchanged. So black people, have we really taken back the word?
Baby C is 1/2 black- so is she 1/2 allowed to use the word? I wanna say I don’t want her to use the word at all.
But to me, it’s a big question. One that can’t be answered in one blog post and I’d love some parental advice.
What do you think?
Do your kids use the ‘N’ word?
What do you think about the ‘N’ word?
* The songs that those lyrics are from are: Juicy, Notorius B.I.G.- All Falls Down, Kanye West- Bring ‘Em Out, T.I.
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A derogatory word cannot turn into an endearing term for me. My friends know when I’m speaking to them with love and sincerity. My ‘half-blackness” does not make it okay to use such an ugly word. In fact, I don’t like any of “those words.” Why even toy around with them terms?
Valerie´s last [type] ..My first Spoonflower Order
Wow! This is a a BIG question. I am not black, but I do have experience with my students saying the word. Some get REALLY mad at me when I tell them they can’t say it in my classroom. We have lots of discussion about it since I teach American Lit and it is all OVER literature–especially Huck Finn. I tell my students that clearly I am NOT an authority on it, but that I really don’t like to hear it because it makes me sad. It’s the same with other races of students knocking on each other for certain stereotypes. The Latino kids will laugh and joke about being Mexican or Guatemalan or whatever. The black kids will use the N word with each other. All while the white kids sit there with HUGE eyes not knowing if they are allowed to laugh. I tell my students all that has to stay out of my classroom. I don’t know if that is right or wrong, but it helps to make my students feel comfortable. I don’t outlaw it from being discussed–that is just healthy.
Anyway, I am watching this conversation because I want to do what is right for all my students. I want to understand. And? I will have black nieces and nephews very soon who will have all white relatives. What do we teach them?
Katie´s last [type] ..While We Were Out
I know that all races probably have their terms for each other whether derogatory or “endearing.” I can’t even imagine working in high school and having to deal with this. As a teacher as well Katie I think you’re right for telling the students that it’s not allowed in the classroom at all and I agree that it should be discussed- these type of dialogues need to be had.
I’ve never understood how it’s ok for one person to say it while it’s an all-out war for another. I think it’s either acceptable or it’s not, regardless of who you are. I’m generally very open-minded but this one just doesn’t work or make sense to me. And, as Ellen says, making it acceptable to some and not others just causes confusion, particularly with kids, and probably initiates more anger and distrust when things get confused. They beat up a friend because he called them what they were all calling each other? Not a great base to keep a friendship going on.
girl that is a tough topic for a tuesday night. man.
What do you think?
first off the mr. uses this word OFTEN and ONLY with his boys. i don’t like the way it sounds but i do believe there is something endearing when it is used in the context i hear him using it. do i think this makes it right? nope. but like it or not this is a form of brotherhood and you will not be able to understand it unless you are a part of this group. we all know that certain people cannot use this word and don’t dare get the ‘er’ mixed up with the ‘ga’ – you might get a beat down. but by using it do we give everyone permission to? when i say we i mean as a people – i don’t use the word. but in high school i did.
Do your kids use the ‘N’ word?
not in my presence. do i think Z does in school and or with his friends – i’m almost positive he does. i’m not even sure N has heard the word or understands the meaning. you’ve just made me realize there’s a convo to be had with her.
What do you think about the ‘N’ word?
i don’t like the way it sounds. and i think it is no different than when i use the word ‘chunty’ and you messicans will understand. or when i call some of my girls a bitch and i say it’s a ‘term of endearment’. it’s not. it is a derogatory word and if i’m using it lightly do i give the impression that so can others?
the word is not going away… but i wish it would. i will get back to you on the mr.’s opinion.
i know i rambled. i’m tired and i know i’m going to have more to say on it tomorrow.
CeSSyG´s last [type] ..Back to School
Cess you are so right in regards to the word bitch. You can say “that’s my bitch,” but if some random person calls you a bitch there are gonna be words exchanged. So is it a term of endearment? And like I said we weren’t allowed to use the word in my parent’s presence, but it was used to much when I was around my friends- especially in high school. And I think you raised a good point- when we use words like this lightly, are we giving other people permission to do it too? Probably. I think it becomes confusing for people- is it okay to use or isn’t it? Thanx for chiming in.
I’ll tell ya a story and you can decide……..
I grew up in a mixed neighborhood almost all my life. In the 70′s it was a slur-just like cracker/honky (blast from the past) spic, wetback- you get the pic.
In the 80′s, I didn’t hear many say it at all until late 80′s/ early 90′s when rap came out. Rap made it “OK” and an “endearment” of sorts. Things that normally were frowned upon were suddenly not only alright but encouraged.
Here’s the story part- there was a group of boys outside (they were all about 8 or 9) – mixed races both black/white/mixed. The black boys were all calling each other nigger this nigga that. It was OK. The mixed boy could say nigga too- but he got funny looks. The white boy who was their friend mimicked them thinking thats what friends say to each other. And as you said ” Cause if a white person calls me a nigga- there may be some very distinct four letter words exchanged” That’s what happened- the boy who thought friends who liked each other called each other nigga got beat up.
Have black people ‘taken’ the word back? I don’t think so. When it doesn’t have power over you, you wouldn’t feel threatened or upset if either a black/latino/white person said it.
Very good point Ellen: “When it doesn’t have power over you, you wouldn’t feel threatened or upset if either a black/latino/white person said it.” I think you’re right and that same thing happened to a white friend of mine in college -he was quoting 50 cent lyrics, though and I was so confused and he said “oh so and so said it’s okay for me to say it.” LOL Like we own the word and so we can tell people whether they can use it or not- it doesn’t make sense.