1. I absolutely hate when people put stick figure family decals . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Weekly Hate]]> I’ve been thinking a lot about the types of days that I have been having and it’s been rough out there. So I’ve decided that along with counting my blessings, some bitching is in order. So, here’s my first Weekly Hate.

1. I absolutely hate when people put stick figure family decals on their cars. Hate. What I hate even more is when they put the names of the people in the family too. Are you asking for a pedophile to come and start talking to your kids- by name? (Thanks to you)

Image borrowed from Vinyllleterdecor.com

2. I hate when people don’t park correctly in parking spaces. They park on the line, they park on a slant and they make it absolutely difficult for me to park. So, if my luck would have it, the last parking spot available is near you so I have to do all of these maneuvers to park my car. Jerk.

3. I hate when people go to McDonald’s and act like they don’t know what they want. People… the menu may change slightly from time-to-time, but trust and believe that the McDonald’s menu is the same. We humans are creatures of habit, especially when we are faced with too many choices- therefore, you know you’re gonna get the same thing you got last time you came to McDonald’s. I always get either a 2 cheeseburger meal or a Filet-O-Fish. So, my biggest question is- do I want beef or fish. If you don’t know what you want, don’t get on line! I don’t want to stand there waiting listening to you say “Uhhhhh. Ummmm.”

Back of the line fool!

Photo borrowed from Flickr

4. I hate when people are more concerned with my health than I am. The other day I posted on Facebook “Should I stop for donuts?” and really the question was related to tardiness. I was wondering “If I stop, will I be late for work?” but I have a friend who I like to call the Food Police. Every time I mention eating something that she thinks I shouldn’t be eating it becomes this big “Oh. My. God. I can’t believe that you eat that. Do you know what’s in that?” conversation.

How do I eat it? Easy. With my mouth wide open. Do I know what’s in it? No. And do I give a shit? It’s absolute goodness- that’s what’s in it. If I want to eat a fuckin’ donut or go to McDonald’s- that’s my prerogative. Mind your own damn business. You sit there and eat your Kale and your nuts and other shit like that. I’ll eat what I want to eat. It also bugs me because I believe in “everything in moderation” so I don’t eat donuts everyday. In fact, this was my first donut in a few months, but whatever, I wanted one and? I brought donuts for my co-workers (win!). Dear Food Police, you eat what you wanna eat and let everyone else eat what they wanna eat. The end.

I’ll have more hate next week. In the meantime. What are you hatin’ on this week? Let me know.

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Oh yes. T-Pain has a toy.

I’m speechless. I just…

SMH

Image borrowed from Fan Pop

Horrible, pot seller. Not so great mom. Amazing iced coffee drinker. Skilled at luring powerful men to do things they would not normally do. Avid Diet Coke drinker.

Is that what her Eulogy would say? I don’t know.

I’ve been sucked . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: The Nancy Botwin Effect]]> Oh Nancy Botwin.

Image borrowed from Fan Pop

Horrible, pot seller. Not so great mom. Amazing iced coffee drinker. Skilled at luring powerful men to do things they would not normally do. Avid Diet Coke drinker.

Is that what her Eulogy would say? I don’t know.

I’ve been sucked into the world of Weeds. In it’s eight season on Showtime, I’ve watched Seasons 1-4 on Netflix (thanks, B for letting me use your account) in the past three weeks. Sad, right? But it’s mesmerizing.

Nancy Botwin is such a fuck up. I mean, she just is.

She’s not the best mom. Her oldest son dropped out of high school to join the weed game, her youngest son whacked a very powerful woman with a mallet to save his family from whatever not-good future the woman had in store for them. She had a baby for a Mexican drug lord/politician, then tried to flee the country with said baby. I mean Nancy, get it together.

But she’s also funny, witty and clearly loves her kids. And they love her. No matter what kind of fucked up path her choices has led her down. She’s all about survival, no matter how unconventional her survival tactics are.

I keep watching because I want to see what kind of mess she is going to get her family into next and, more importantly, how she plans on getting them out of it.

Sometimes, I feel just like Nancy Botwin.

No, my husband didn’t die and I didn’t pick up selling pot to support my family, but still.

When Nancy has those really reflective moments where she like what the fuck have I done? Are my kids gonna be fucked up? Could I have done things better? When she just seems like a drifter because she’s so dazed and confused about life? But how she just picks herself right back up and attacks the task at hand- after a Diet Coke or iced coffee, a glass of wine or a bottle of Patron… (Whether she does it with grace is another question, but…)

Yup. That’s the Nancy Botwin Effect.

I just feel like her sometimes- like what the hell am I doing? Where am I going? What is happening right now? And I feel like I need to channel my inner Nancy Botwin to handle it.

Like WWNBD? (What would Nancy Botwin do?) and then I get it done, without the iced coffee, though. I don’t like iced coffee.

She is not a model mom. That’s for sure. I don’t want my kids growing up to sell weed or be killers, but damn it she owns her shit. She knows she’s a fuck up and that’s some powerful stuff. To know yes, I fucked up. Moving on.

This post is pointless, but to tell you that I’ve been sucked into the world of Weeds. I’m annoyed that Netflix only has seasons 1 through 4 (get it together Netflix) and how I adore Nancy Botwin.

Carry on with your day.

Pea has been very, very sick. Fevers of 100 + at night and steady at 99 during the day.

Coughing.

Coughing.

and more coughing.

Stuffy nose, then runny nose.

Coughing.

Coughing.

and more coughing.

Not sleeping at night because of the coughing.

I’m tired, . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Out of Commission]]> Guys, I know it’s been quiet around here.

Pea has been very, very sick. Fevers of 100 + at night and steady at 99 during the day.

Coughing.

Coughing.

and more coughing.

Stuffy nose, then runny nose.

Coughing.

Coughing.

and more coughing.

Not sleeping at night because of the coughing.

I’m tired, Pea’s tired, Daddy C is tired.

So, I don’t have any updates because I’m really just too tired and can’t wrap my thoughts around what I would write.

So, please hold.

We’ll be back soon.

xo

- Me

Bitchface

adj: pertaining to those who hardly ever smile; having a mean/angry look on your face at all times.

Of course this is not a word, but I imagine that if it had an entry in the dictionary, it would be reminiscent of the one . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Bitchface]]>

Bitchface

adj: pertaining to those who hardly ever smile; having a mean/angry look on your face at all times.

Of course this is not a word, but I imagine that if it had an entry in the dictionary, it would be reminiscent of the one that I wrote above. My dear Mandy shared this on her FB page the other day:

I’d love to give credit for this photo, but I have no idea where it came from.

and I immediately shared it on my wall.

This, folks, is the story of my life.

At least at work.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been called into my boss’ office or told by some other faculty member about how rude, unkind, mad, angry (insert adjective here) I seem (let’s talk about perception vs. reality) and partially because I don’t really smile at others much and I’m not the “HEY! How you doing? How was your weekend? Let’s have meaningless smalltalk” kinda girl. I mean I’m just not.

And when I say that I have come home in tears some days, bawling (I know that’s not how you spell it, work with me) to my husband, asking- am I a bad person? am I really mean? What the FUCK!?

This is just how I am. What the fuck am I walking around all chipper and smiling at every person that walks by me? I don’t want to. Part of that (and excuse me as I use new language, fresh off of the personality styles training I took at work) is my personality- thanks to my upbringing. Growing up in Brooklyn, you don’t just walk around smiling at people cause you feel like it. Fuck around and smile at the wrong person and get your ass cut or somethin’ like that. I think my rules riding the subway when I was growing up were-

1. Don’t look at anyone for extended periods of time (stare at people in nyc and generate unwanted attention)
2. Don’t talk to strangers (duh!)
3. Keep my headphones on
4. Keep my “don’t fuck with me” face on
5. Keep the razor blade that my older brother gave me close by, you know, just in case I needed to cut someone

So, when my BITCHFACE transfers over into my grown-up life, you’ll have to excuse me.

I don’t wear my bitchface with my students, unless of course, they need to know that Mrs. H means business right now. My kids know that I love them. And I definitely don’t wear my bitchface with my friends, my homegirls. Oh no, we laugh, we smile, we joke. But you, yeah you, the person that I don’t really know? You may see the bitchface. But not on purpose, but because that is what it is.

I hate. HATE. When people say “Oh, Dawana you should smile… Smile! It’s a great day!… Smile, it’s nice outside”

What?

How about, you worry about your own self and leave me alone? Mkay? Thanks.

One more story and then I’ll end this rant:

Today, was rough. Pea had about 8,000,345 nightmares last night and I did not sleep. I went in to work, shut my room door before the bell (which I never do, I was just too exhausted) and tried to get myself energized for the 23 six and seven year olds that would be bursting through the door at any minute.

This lady from Georgia works across the hall from me; she teaches Kindergarten. She sees me in the hall and this is our conversation:

“Hey girl, you doin’ alright?“

“Yeah, I’m cool, just so exhausted.”

“You sure? Cause you look like somethin’ is wrong. I can just see it in your face.”

“Whachoo mean you see it in my face? Don’t my face look like this every day?“
(yes, new word. What + you = whachoo, pronounced wuh-chew)

“No girl. Usually your face is like- what? try me. I dare you.

But today, your face is like- don’t fuck wit’ me.“

And that made me laugh. Out Loud. Bitchfaces do laugh from time-to-time ya know.

So apparently, there are different degrees of my bitchface-ness. That was very funny to hear.

I know I have a bitchface. I own my bitchface.

Everyone else? Can just deal with it.

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Image borrowed from Spicy RV

So we have a friend named Melissa who is an amazing photographer extraordinaire. She recently went to the dermatologist for a Microdermabrasion and allowed herself to be talked into getting a chemical peel. The result? Were days of pain and an inability . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Think Before You Peel {PSA}]]>

Image borrowed from Spicy RV

So we have a friend named Melissa who is an amazing photographer extraordinaire. She recently went to the dermatologist for a Microdermabrasion and allowed herself to be talked into getting a chemical peel. The result? Were days of pain and an inability to fully move her face (when I went to visit her you could just tell how much pain she was in; she could hardly open her mouth to talk!). She made this video about what happens when you go into something uninformed. She’s not saying Microdermabrasion is bad, but she’s saying educate yourself! Sometimes, we get sucked in by sales gimmicks and slick talking… the Dermatologist Office is probably not one of the places that we should be talked into getting something. I’ll leave you with a before photo and her video (it’s a bit dark, but you can still see the bruising). Hopefully, this will all clear up.

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“You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone”

Our recent trip to Florida was amazingly bittersweet. I was reminded of the things I may have taken for granted.

Driving down Gandy Blvd.

Being stuck in Tampa traffic

Publix Supermarket

Mo’s

Having . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Things Taken For Granted]]> An overly used, but always on point quote:

“You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone”

Our recent trip to Florida was amazingly bittersweet. I was reminded of the things I may have taken for granted.

Driving down Gandy Blvd.

Being stuck in Tampa traffic

Publix Supermarket

Mo’s

Having children close in age for Pea to play with

Friends

Palm trees

Going to Evos

Driving in December with my windows down

The humidity

Tyrone Mall

Outback on 4th Street

The beach…

I have never liked the beach. I hate sand, I don’t like getting my hair wet and seriously? I’m dark enough I don’t like sitting in the sun for extended periods of time.

But this time? There was something so different about it. I willing went to the beach 2 days in a row, watching my Pea have the best time. It was only her 2nd time at the beach (the first time was in California in the very cold and dirty Pacific Ocean when she was 1- she was not a fan of that). The Gulf of Mexico, though, is warm and just beautiful.

It was then that I realized how much I took for granted in Florida and how much I love that place and it will always be my home. Of course, we would love to be back there. We also know, though, how blessed we are for the both of us to have well-paying jobs… the jobs that allowed us to save and take our trip in the first place. And so if we don’t get back at the end of this year or the end of next year? It’s not the end of the world. My friends there will always be my family and I know that I’ll always have that place and those people to go back to- even if it’s just for a visit.

Again, I never liked the beach, but I think if we ever do move back I will take that beautiful scene, the peace and quiet with other locals and enjoy it more often.

This visit? Was much needed.

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It’s Pea’s birthday! She officially turned 3 years old at 17:17. It has been a rough 3 years.

Comin’ straight off of a 2 week road trip to Florida, instead of writing about how glorious the past 3 years with Pea has been, I’d like to share a bunch of . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Sh*t My Pea Says (The Birthday Edition)]]>

It’s Pea’s birthday! She officially turned 3 years old at 17:17. It has been a rough 3 years.

Comin’ straight off of a 2 week road trip to Florida, instead of writing about how glorious the past 3 years with Pea has been, I’d like to share a bunch of Cadence-isms with you. Spending 2 1/2 days in the car to FL and 2 days back to CO… we’ve heard a lot of them.

• Me: “I’m gonna call Jesus and tell him to take away 2 of your birthdays because you’re acting like a baby.”
  Her: “NO ACT LIKE A BABY! NO CALL JESUS!“
• Daddy, do you take off your underwear when you go pee?
• Mommy, are we big girls or little girls?
• Daddy, Junior- are you boys or girls?
• Me: “Sit down, please”
  Her: “I’m too busy Mommy”
  Me: “What?! Who says that?”
  Her: “Me”
• Mommy, we don’t say bad words. We say kind words.
• Mommy! COVER YOUR MOUTH!
• Her: “Mommy, I can’t see your car.”
  Me: “What do you mean? My car is right here.”
  Her: “No, your car is very dirty.”
  Me: “I know, we drove in the snow.”
  Her: “WELL, you need a new car.”
• Mommy- are you happy or sad?
• Mommy, can we go to Florida?
• Her: Mommy, can we please buy that?
  Me: Sure, do you have money?
  Her: Yes.
  Me: Oh really? Where is it?
  Her: There is money in your wallet.
• We don’t say what. We say yes.
• We listen to our Mommy and Daddy.
• Mommy, where do horses live? Who’s that man? What are those horses doing in that truck? Where the man taking them?
• That baby is not being a good listener to her Mommy and Daddy.
• Her: What’s a restaurant? (Us: A place where you go to eat.)
  Her: What’s a eat? (Us: It’s what you do when you’re hungry.)
  Her: What’s a hungry? (Us: It’s when you need to get some food in your belly.)
  Her: What’s a belly… (Us: ……)Three years… and so many more to go.

  Can’t wait.

  Happy Birthday, Pea. We love you.

  

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- I learn more and more what kind of parent I don’t want to be.

- With that being . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Lessons Learned, 2011]]> So, I thought that summing my 2011 blogging year wasn’t really what I wanted to do, but as Chris and I sat talking I thought I would share things I’ve learned this year.

- I learn more and more what kind of parent I don’t want to be.

- With that being said, I learned that I lose my patience a lot with Pea. I need to work on that.

- Some people will never change, no matter how bad you want them to.

- Sometimes good enough will just have to do.

- I learned how strong friendships can truly be.

- Standing up for what you believe in is hard, but will have great benefits (though they aren’t always apparent).

- I really, really want to write a book. I know that for sure now.

- Sometimes, you’ve gotta take the long road… But it’s always worth it.

Happy New Year, friends. Thanks for reading this little ol’ blog of mine. I appreciate you all. Peace and Many Blessings to you in 2012.

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